You're training without a "why"

I always ask new clients the same question: "What are you actually here for?"

Nine times out of ten, the first answer is something like "to get fitter" or "to lose a bit of weight." And that's fine, that's a start. But it's not really a goal, is it? It's a vibe. And vibes don't get you up at 6am in January.

When I say have a "why", I mean two things. First, something you can actually measure: holding a plank for a full minute, doing your first proper press-up from your toes, walking up the stairs at Southwark without needing a moment at the top. Something real.

Second, and this is the bit people skip, why does that matter to you? Maybe you want to keep up with your kids. Maybe you've had a rough year and you just want to feel like yourself again. Maybe you want one hour a week that's just yours.

That second part is what carries you on the days the first part isn't enough. Trust me, those days will come. Having a reason that means something to you makes it so much easier to keep going, and so much easier to be kind to yourself when progress is slow.

You think rest is for people who aren't serious

This one's close to my heart.

I see so many people who train like it's a punishment. Every day, full throttle, no breaks, running on four hours' sleep and a meal deal. And then they wonder why they feel flat, why they're picking up little niggles, why their mood's all over the place.

Here's the thing nobody tells you: you don't get stronger during the workout. You get stronger after it, when your body's recovering.

Training is the signal. Rest is where the work actually happens.

And it's not just your muscles. If your mind's running on empty (work stress, family stuff, not sleeping properly), piling a brutal session on top of that isn't always the answer. Some days the best thing you can do is a lighter session, a proper stretch, or a walk. That's not you being soft. That's you being smart.

I'd much rather see someone train three times a week consistently for a year than go hard every day for three weeks and then disappear because they're knackered. Look after yourself. Sleep, eat properly, take your rest days seriously. Your body and your brain will thank you.

You're comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter twenty

Social media has a lot to answer for here, honestly.

You open your phone and it's six-week transformations, perfect lighting, someone deadlifting double their bodyweight like it's nothing. Then you look at yourself after a month of training and think, "What am I even doing?"

Please don't do that to yourself.

You don't know that person's story. You don't know how long they've been at it, what their life looks like, or what happened just out of shot. What you do know is where you started. That's the only comparison that counts.

Real change takes time. Months, not weeks. Sometimes years. And I know that's not the most exciting thing to hear, but it's the truth, and I'd rather be straight with you than sell you a dream.

What I tell my clients is to track the small wins. Sleeping better. Feeling less anxious walking into the gym. Lifting a bit heavier than last month. Actually looking forward to a session. That stuff is progress. It counts, and it adds up.